An Epiphany in the early hours

of 12th. October 2013 

What you are about to read was experienced with far greater and more precise detail than I use in my account. I remember it all as lucidly as if I was there yesterday in normal life. I hope the meaning is not diluted. I woke from sleep with the lucid memory of the experience; and as some will know, this derives from constructs of valid reality in the astral which we manufacture to help explore and balance the meaning and purpose of our lives here.

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       I was on the flat rooftop of a tall building. The masonry was unfinished and the concrete roof slab was rough and dirty. All the trappings of construction lay around as if work had started after a long break. The building was more than 100 yards square but the roof was incomplete. Over the edge I could see how lower levels extended wider for each floor. The thought went through my head that it narrowed as it grew higher just like the Great Pyramid in Egypt!

The roof slab was interrupted by a big shaft near the centre which cut down through the stone fabric of the building. I was at the edge of it and I could see it reached down to at least 80 feet or more. There was another guy there I felt was a friend, or colleague/co-worker. It seemed we were so far into the sky. The town buildings below us seemed a long way away. I said to my colleague that I needed to get my tools and a few other things before we could continue. (I was aware we were trying to understand the shaft.) I proceeded to the edge of the roof and using the bits of scaffolding and the balconies, I climbed back to ground level.

I walked along connecting streets until I was in a road parallel with the building but some distance away. I looked back and saw how it didn’t seem to reach so high as the view from the top. It consisted of ground floor and four floor levels above. Next to it there was another building of ground floor and two floors above. I continued and stopped at my car to retrieve a cloth shoulder bag containing some hand tools and lunch food.

All around me people were hurrying in a state of almost panic. They were fleeing from a flood that I knew was upon us, not like a churning tsunami but more like rapidly rising flood water.

I was on developed hilly ground rising from a flat plain covered with the main town buildings. I knew this area wouldn’t be safe from the water, as did other people running by.

A group of 7 – 10 people caught up to me. They were shouting, and confused, and didn’t know which way to go. I told them to follow me and I quickly retraced my steps. Strangely I felt as if I knew them – but not to the point of open recognition and friendly conversation. I just kept urging them to follow-along quickly because the water was coming.

We arrived back at the building. Muddy brown water was beginning to rise and flood the street. I directed the people across the road and told them they couldn’t outrun the flood. Instead they should go into the building for safety. I told them to keep climbing up the floors as the water rose. I shouted out to other people splashing along, to try and attract them into the building. There were many now, running, splashing, falling and ignoring my shouts. Panic was spreading. The water was rising faster and even as I started to climb back up the outside of the building the water was feet deep behind me and still rising. I remember thinking that I hoped the ones inside had the sense to keep to the stairs and climb away from the flood. I had a knowingness that the water would not get higher than about the third storey level.

I had another powerful feeling that I knew all the many people inside this building – but like before - not so that I could openly talk with them as friends. I felt they were all people I had known through past significant periods of my life.

I climbed until I was adjacent to the roof of the next building. There were five men there. The flood was going to catch them so from bits of wood and scaffold poles they had formed a makeshift bridge between the buildings. I helped them cross, while below us the town was becoming submerged. There was no time to waste and I turned to a rickety ladder leading from our level to the next. I told them to follow me after I had tested it, but to stay calm and come up one at a time. Near to the top I felt someone on the ladder below me already. I looked down and saw an older man from the group trying to climb behind me in panic. I shouted for him to hold back or he’d knock us both down. He didn’t respond but his hands and arms were grabbing at the rungs under my feet. I couldn’t get a grip. I screamed for him to back-off until I got to the top. I managed to scramble up. I waited for the him and told him to hold the top of the ladder for the next person and repeat the process until they were all safe. I knew they would be ok within the safety of the building. I was incensed that all this would be so much easier if they would just think beyond themselves for once.

I continued climbing to get back up on to the final flat roof level. I noted again how the concrete was sagging and needed some urgent work done to it. My colleague was there already laying at the edge of the shaft as if he was unsure what to do next. I worked my way towards him, crawling on the ground to distribute my weight.

Just to the side of the shaft there was another opening like an elongated hole looking down on a deep stairwell. It wasn’t possible to see the stairs properly because a vaulted ceiling had been formed using timber sheets - like a template for solid stone later. The vaulting looked great even from above.

Then I got a strange knowingness in my mind. I suddenly remembered it was I who had built the vaulted ceiling to enclose the space and make it much safer. And once again the thought pinged in my head that from this view it was just like looking down on a miniature version of the GP grand gallery.

I said to my colleague, What do you think of it then? I was taken aback when he began to rant that he would have done it differently this way, or that. I felt he had some kind of ownership stake in the building – or thought he did. But I was so pis..d because I’d received no offer of help to do the job and I had bought the materials to do the job from my own pocket anyway. I told him so and he just climbed off the roof again in a huff.

I turned my attention to the shaft because I really wanted to know what it led to. The only features were small holes cut in sequence on two opposite sides of the shaft. I still felt in a bad mood from dealing with people who had no appreciation.

I grabbed a couple of long sticks laying nearby and found if I lowered myself over the edge to gain a toehold, I could use the poles to brace myself from the holes on the other side. Using the sticks, I was able to work my way down the shaft. It took a lot of effort but at the bottom of the first section there was a ledge of rock jutting out of the shaft on all sides. I braced myself in the corner to rest and catch my breath. Beneath me I saw the shaft opened to a far deeper level which went on into darkness. I felt so close but still so far away from finding out its purpose. I still couldn’t shake off my bad mood. Yet again, everybody else was running around outside, only concerned for their own dramas. It didn’t matter what help was given; they soaked it up and just carried on with their own self-interest. Even the perceived dangers were all manageable!

I thought, To hell with it, I’m not going to turn back from an answer this time. Then spontaneously I threw away caution and reserve and leapt into the continuing hole of the shaft. I fell for several seconds and hardly had time to think whether I’d killed myself or not when I felt myself being caught by a stretched sheet of material. The wind was knocked out of me as the bounce threw me back into the air for a few feet and repeated a few times before settling. Dust in the air made me cough. I felt I was in a space that was vast. It disappeared into darkness around me. The sheet felt like a giant sail-cloth stretched out; or like one of those bouncy catchers for stunt men who jump from heights. I looked up and I could just see faint light from the shaft above.

I felt a weird rage again like I had been cheated. I’d put my whole effort into finding an answer and I’d been blocked again; this time by selfish ancients who’d formed the barrier to stop anyone getting to it. I can’t remember such terrible emotions flowing through me. Betrayed and cheated. Cheated and betrayed. I stood up as the sheet wobbled under me and I took out my knife. With no more thought I lashed out and slashed at the canvas in two big cross strokes. It burst open and I fell through the opening to the biggest shock of them all. There was nothing below. There was no below because I found myself drifting in the inky blackness of space with only distant spots of light from galaxies and stars for company. For a split second I caught sight of where I had come from. The slashed hole mended itself and then it all just faded to nothing.

I was just there, alone and drifting. I was fully aware of myself with no fear, but with a profound sense of connection with what each light source led to, and to the minute detail of life they held. A thousand thoughts from my life flashed through my brain.

This was just like it had happened one time before in Egypt. There was an experience when we were overcome by phenomenal energies before exploring the depths beneath a buried stone dome. The staircase led to open underground water and a giant whirlpool. The chamber was filled with powerful energy and the tunnel could be seen opposite that lead to the buried palace near Gebl Gibli. I fell forward into that whirlpool but instead of hitting the water I fell through and I was suddenly floating in deep space instead. A later ground-penetrating radar survey confirmed the dome, the stairs, the water and the tunnel.

Now it was the same but there was more. I questioned the rage I had felt.

Why was it that nobody ever really, really seemed to give a sh.t despite best efforts always?

Why, when I gave or to did for other people, they soon drifted back into their own self-interest? Why when I always went the extra mile it was never enough for many people?

How was it that nobody ever really-really-really gave a long-term sh.t  except for themselves?

Then I had an epiphany. I saw it so clearly.

This latest experience was filled with representations that linked to memories and aspirations from my own life - and there were some real ancient memories like the flood – arising from collective consciousness.

I saw so many links, like the unheeding people; the followers but few leaders; the ignoring ones who had to go to their own destruction; the construct of my unfinished building which existed as a container for my illusions; my father as  the man on the ladder preventing my feet from finding solid footing; the friend who was false because I gave my will in him; the missing closures from early years in the building I had built; and a multitude more.  All had seemed so very important but in reality were only stepping stones through my own inadequacies.

My fierce drive always to get to the centre of things was a reciprocal reaction to the restraints I had also woven into the cage which would restrain me through my life. Excessive energy poured into a false need for acceptance, when all I needed was to accept myself and then improve.

All these thoughts and many more swept through my brain until there was one question left to answer. What is it then that bound me to the illusion for so long? The answer was there in a flash.

I carried the idea of fault in others through my life when in fact they were living within their own domain of fault just like me. It was and is, borne out of ignorance and is perpetuated by the wrong reciprocal reaction. The cement which binds the process is our amnesia or stubbornness to see the far greater reality beyond it.

How then to go forward to be able to interact freely without being caged by the illusions that bind us to ourselves? How to deal with the bully, the oppressor, the selfish, the self-interested, the Narcissist, the Sociopath and more?

First for sure by knowing that their interactions with us, however self-important and self-interested, or selfish they may be, their effect in the scheme of things is but a pin-prick on a pin-prick on a pin-prick in the universe. In their blindness they are not bigger than the Universe. If we are aware of the fact it can allow us to connect to the strength of the universe ourselves as we confront such behaviour with courage, and throw it back to its sender every time. They are not the strong ones. They are the cowards. They are the ones who crumble when they are confronted, even through their rage. They are the ones who are afraid to face the most terrifying test of facing themselves.

The power of the universe is in the order of tranquillity when all seems chaos. From the strength of knowingness and tranquillity amid any chaos in our lives, a better door will always open for us - because higher vibration gravitates to itself. It produces better synchronicities and events to improve our journey, however scared we may convince ourselves when confronting the dark bubble of the cowards. This lesson should always be enough to replace weakness with courage when needed to get the job done.

For the other type of person there will also be improvement of an unwelcome kind. As they are confronted with their actions, their energy will discharge to its own. Their synchronicities will produce darker events to force them inward and face themselves until their pain becomes a lesson.

I knew I could go forward with my best efforts doing the best that I can ever do, but no longer needing or wanting the approval of such people. I could see there was nothing left to prove. There was only vast scope to im~prove. If some people are unable to face this reality then it is their burden to deal with. Their world and illusion is of their making and can only ever be of their undoing - but never to be tolerated as an extended jail illusion for others who have already seen the light and are free.

All these reflections passed through my mind it seemed forever. I felt so calm and began drifting again. I suddenly opened my eyes to tears as I stared up at my bedroom ceiling.

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